Everybody has a bucket list, right? You know the things we want to do before we kick the bucket…croak…bite the big one? Well last night, I crossed one off my list. No, I didn’t skydive into some exotic location. Wait for it…… Wait for it…… I got to be “live” on the air for QVC’s testimonial line! That’s right! Jealous? You should be. (Kidding) For those readers who may think I’m completely insane for basking in my post-testimonial afterglow, here are 7 reasons why this blind mom absolutely loves her QVC!
7 Reasons Blind Motherhood Loves QVC
- In Home Shopping: I don’t know who came up with the idea for in-home shopping, but that brilliant individual deserves some serious props. Forget your Uber. Cancel your LYFT. When you shop QVC; you don’t even have to leave the house! No need to pack that diaper bag. No listening to a whining husband complain about traffic. I don’t even have to wear a bra. Boo Ya! I’m in! I can happily sit in my raggedy old sweatpants, covered in baby vomit and order up some Philosophy body wash to use when I shower twice a week. (Two toddlers, remember?)
- The Product Descriptions: When you’re blind or visually impaired people need to be descriptive. Thankfully, QVC doesn’t miss a beat when it comes to describing anything they sell. Wanna buy that Nutra Ninja but you’re just not sure you can manage all those buttons? Well, just sit back and relax while QVC works their magic. Once your hostess with the mostess breaks down available colors, they go over all the functions of the machine. In the market for a new Dooney & Bourke pocketbook? QVC will spend twenty minutes talking about the pocket and zipper location of each and every bag! And the best part is if you get tired of hearing their explanation, you can just change the channel or get up and re-fill your chips! Shopping and multi-tasking; a blind mom’s dream!
- Hello, EASY PAY: I have two words for you, “Easy Pay.” I mean, really, who lets you pay for anything using installments anymore? And that applies to everything, even if you don’t qualify for a Q Card, QVC’s own credit card. Last night, during my QVC testimonial euphoria, I called in to rave about my DYSON Absolute Cordless Vacuum. I love this thing, especially with two messy toddlers and a husband who’s also pretty dirty. I would never have been able to afford this $400 vacuum if I wasn’t able to buy it using Easy Pay. Much love, QVC. Much love.
- The Hosts: There is a lot of crap going on in the world today. Sometimes I just want to “check out” and when I need to find my happy place I turn to the hosts of QVC. As the blind mom of two toddlers, I don’t have a lot of friends. Watching a little QVC gives me the opportunity to hear an adult conversation amidst the constant sound of cartoon voices that have taken over my household. I also follow these hosts on their Facebook, Twitter and Instagram accounts. Not in a “Hey, you may want to get a restraining order” kind of way, but in a “In my mind, we’re besties.” That’s not creepy, right? Moving on.
- Auto Delivery: I have to admit I was kind of against “Auto Delivery” when I first heard about the option. I mean, do my thighs really need an unexpected delivery of Mrs. Prindables Carmel Apples? But after getting on the auto delivery bandwagon, I have changed my tune on the subject and my answer is, “Hell yes, I need those caramel apples!” Because when you’ve got a kid with the stomach flu and that unexpected box of QVC happiness arrives you will give thanks to the auto delivery God’s for saving what’s left of your sanity.If you’re like me, you will hide behind your refrigerator door and enjoy every bite of that caramel goodness that you forgot you ordered. And if during your moment of orgasmic apple consumption your toddler questions what you’re doing “alone” in the kitchen, tell them you’re eating some “yummy broccoli.” Trust me, they will leave you alone for a few. Not like I’ve ever done that before. Wink. Wink.
- Technology Friendly: When I was a kid, my mom shopped on QVC – a lot. Mostly, creepy porcelain dolls that gave me nightmares. Nothing a few years of therapy couldn’t fix. Back in the 1980’s, I distinctly remember mom getting a busy signal many times while attempting to make an order. Hell hath no fury like a stay at home mother who is about to lose out on her coveted Marie Osmond “Adora-belle” china doll. Trust me, not a good scene. Fast forward 25 years and QVC is on top of its tech game. No more worrying about busy signals because you don’t actually need a phone to place an order. I can make a purchase anytime I want just by logging on to my computer or using the QVC App on my IPhone.
- Entertainment: Most people wouldn’t consider QVC entertaining, but I’ve got news for you, there is a whole lot of crazy going on in the world of home shopping. From celebrities like Isaac Mizrahi trying to convince you to buy his velvet loafers to the late Joan Rivers with her over the top lapel pins – you’re going to see a whole different side of celebrities. It may not be pretty, but it sure is a trip to watch! Then you have the off the wall products like Poo-Pourri – the essential oils spray you put in your toilet before you take a dump to stop the smell. I was laughing so hard during a presentation of this product that I actually bought it. And you know what; that shit really works. (See what I did there?) So now I am a Poo-Pourri convert and am slightly less judgmental when I see a product that’s a little outside of my comfort zone. Finally, you’ve got to love the entertaining testimonials. While most people who call in about a product sound relatively normal; you do get a fair amount of whack jobs. Like the time I was watching a presentation for an air purifier and Janice from Salt Lake called in. Janice had a really heavy smoker’s cough and said her family didn’t like the cigarette smell in her house. She was hoping this purifier would “shut their pie holes” because she had no intention of giving up her two packs a day. Good luck with that, Janice.
This is not a sponsored or affiliate post for QVC. This is just one blind mom’s expression of her adoration for a certain home shopping network.
It’s great to feel like I’ve got company during these difficult, sometimes isolating, days of blindness and toddler parenting. Thanks QVC for offering affordable, descriptive products that come straight to my door. You’re like a dependable, old friend who always entertains and seldom disappoints.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, the doorbell just rang. I hope it’s one of those damned Mrs. Prindables pretzels!