Halloween Jokes for Toddler Folks & Pineapple Jack O’Lanterns

Halloween Jokes for Toddler Folks & Pineapple Jack O’Lanterns

Toddlers! Pint sized adults, with inquiring minds, who love to test our patience. I happen to have two of them and boy, do they ever keep me on my toes! Mothering a 3 and almost 2-year-old everyday is exhausting, but then there are those moments when you think “ah, the innocence of childhood!”  This year, both my daughters are exploding with excitement about Halloween. It appears the holiday has finally sunk in. Costumes. Candy. Pumpkins. They are totally into all of it! I mean what’s not to love about October thirty-first when you’re three feet high? Right?

Countdown To Halloween

A friend of “Mostly Wonderful” gave our girls a Halloween countdown calendar. I have it hanging on our refrigerator. Every day, Nuala and Aoife walk over to the calendar and tear off one little square covering a picture of a haunted house. Behind the squares are pictures of cheerful Halloween characters like smiling ghosts or not-so-scary vampires. On the back of each number is a kid friendly joke and my girls can’t get enough of them. They hold their bellies with laughter and it’s absolutely adorable!


Pictured: Halloween Countdown Calendar. 

Here are our Top 10 Favorite Halloween Jokes from our Countdown Calendar!

  1. What happens to a fast witch on a slow broom? Answer: She flies off the handle!
  2. Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road? Answer: He had no guts.
  3. What is a mummy’s favorite type of music?  Answer: WRAP!
  4. Why did the vampire go to the orthodontist? Answer: To improve his bite!
  5. What do you get when you cross a vampire with a snowman? Answer: Frostbite
  6. What’s a baby’s ghost’s favorite game? Answer: PeekA-BOO!
  7. What’s a skeleton’s favorite musical instrument? Answer: A Trom-BONE!
  8. What does a vampire fear most? Answer: Tooth Decay
  9. Why did dracula need cough medicine? Answer: Because he kept having coffin fits!
  10. What do you call serious rocks? Answer: Grave stones

Pineapple Jack O’Lanterns

What parent doesn’t take their kid pumpkin picking in the fall? It’s like a right of passage for little kids complete with cheesy hay rides and over priced produce.”Mostly Wonderful” and I did the pumpkin patch thing, at a small local farm in Staten Island. (Yes, we actually have a real working farm in NYC.) Soon after, I was watching a television news segment where they were talking about using other fruits and vegetables to make Jack O’Lanterns with your kids. It got me thinking, “How cool would it be to carve something other than a pumpkin?”

As a blind woman, I know what a pumpkin feels like. Quite frankly, I think that fruit is overrated. (I googled it. I assure you it’s a fruit) The whole pumpkin-spice everything? YUCK!  What about incorporating the tactile sensation of other fruits and veggies into Halloween, like turnips, peppers, tomatoes and well, pineapples?

I took the plunge and bought my very first pineapple, two actually. One to carve and one in case I butchered my first attempt. I enlisted the help of my husband to cut the top off (save it because you need to put it back on) and scoop out the pulp. He’s much better with the knife than I am!

After we were all scooped out and clean, we carved the traditional triangle eyes and mouth like we would in any standard pumpkin. Then, we pushed a glow stick inside our pineapple Jack O’Lantern. I took two toothpicks and pushed them into the bottom half of our fruit and my husband pushed the top on.

Our pineapple Jack O’Lantern is sitting on my kitchen stove! It’s a great tactile activity for both blind parents and blind or visually impaired kids! My toddlers loved it and they also got to taste a new fruit (which Nuala loved and Aoife hated)! It took all of twenty minutes to complete, and just like the jokes from our countdown calendar; we laughed together as a family.


Pictured: Pineapple Jack O’Lantern on top of my stove. 

Halloween Magic

How many Halloweens (probably not a word) do we get with our kids where they really, truly enjoy it? Eight? Ten if we are lucky? Well, I fully intend on making every single one count. If that means reading my kids a corny Halloween joke or slicing up some innocent squash; then I’m all about it!

So, share a joke with your kids! Carve that pineapple or pepper! Do what needs to be done to share a giggle! Remember, Halloween magic has an expiration date. Don’t let these childhood moments slip through your fingers! Happy Halloween! (Almost)